Please Stop.
Thanks,
Humanity
P.S. There's a social pandemic that is gripping social media that needs to come to an immediate end. No, not the daily bombardment of game requests or apps to find out which Harry Potter character you are, it's the pet owners that have clearly lost touch with reality. Let me be clear, I love animals, had a cat all the way through college, even though I'm allergic to them. I have often been quoted as saying I could shoot a human (Michael Vic) before I could shoot an animal. However, I draw the line between comparing pets to children. This not only makes you sound like a complete moron, but is also a direct insult to parents around the world.
If you are already balking at this, then tomorrow, place your child in a crate, or tie them up in the back yard, and go to work for 8 hours. You will have one hell of a welcoming committee for you when you arrive home & will probably never see your children again. If that fails, dump a bag of food out on the kitchen floor, fill several bowls of water, and then take off for the weekend. Again, this is a pretty solid way to relieve yourself of your parenting duties.
Being a responsible parent is a 24/7 full time job, that you receive partial relief from when your child turns 18, but you are never truly finished being a parent. The interaction, communication, and financial investment alone is overwhelming for many and it's not like you can just drop a child off in the woods or turn them into a shelter with little questions asked. When they are sick, they need round the clock care and God forbid hospitalization. You probably won't have your pediatrician come and say that little Suzie needs to be taken out back and shot or put down.
If you chose not to have children, the world thanks you. There are too many parents in this world that shouldn't be and if you made that choice, for whatever reason, good for you. Claiming that your new dog or Mr. Peaches the cat is one of your children is insulting to parents of children. They are not children. What happens when your cat or dog dies? Many get another one. What happens when your child dies? Statistically, the family breaks apart, divorce, suicide, therapy, and most parents will tell you, they died inside and are never truly right. They don't just take a few months off and bounce down to the store and pick out a new one...
Think about what you are implying. You are trying to equate an animal that just took a shit in the front lawn, ate it, puked it back up, and ate it again to a human being. When is the last time a child tried humping your leg and wouldn't stop until he/she finished? Have you ever walked outside to find your offspring stuck together and the only way to get them apart is with the hose? When is the last time a child crawled up on top of the dining room table and took a shit next to the ham? Or hiked his/her leg and pissed all over the Christmas presents under the tree? Can you order children off the menu, like you can pets in other countries? My children have never consumed a tube of pantie hose and then required me to pull the pair out of their ass. Have your children ever ate through the drywall in the garage, got loose, and f**ked every neighbor on the street that was outside, causing a baby boom? They are just not the same.
So let's please find another way to acknowledge/honor Mr. Wiggles & Mr. Prissy Pants that is fitting to their place in the world without offending the millions of parents out there of children that have chosen the ultimate in human sacrifice, being a Mom and Dad. Otherwise, the next time my family comes over to your house, my kids will sniff your ass, drink from your toilets, shit in your back yard, and if anything ends up broken, we'll just blame it on the dog...
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