When did this begin? I asked my school secretary who was retiring after 30 years on the job, and she said if began around 2000. There was this titanic shift between parents parenting and parents wanting to be their child's best friend. As this latest carnation of political correctness swung too far to one direction, kids starting acting up in school, telling their teachers NO, and their parents, instead of knocking the shit out of their children, told the teachers they were siding with their children. As a whole, we stopped flunking kids, holding them accountable, and even worse, started treating them all like winners...
Winning should be reserved for the team or individual who performs better than their competitor. Now, everyone wins. If you show up you get a participation medal, if you win, you get a medal, and if you lose, you get a medal. Before you know it, you can't tell who's won and who's lost, but one thing is for sure, nobody's feelings were hurt. What message does this send? How does this prepare them for life, the job market, and future relationships? It doesn't. Instead, it further supports this notion that they are so special, so precious, that how dare anyone tell them NO or not give them a sticker as soon as they enter the room.
If we continue this pace and lifestyle choice when it comes to relationships with our children then we are in serious trouble as a nation....unless you feel that exporting strippers and video game players is the future of our economy and will trump other nations when it comes to technology, energy, and education. On a daily basis, I hear the words no (or worse) from a child, or I don't want to, or you can't make me, or I'll tell my mom...and they do. When I was in school, if I spoke back to the teacher, I'd be lucky to keep my teeth, now the teacher has to prepare a monumental defense, a.k.a. a Dream Team, to justify why she wouldn't let little Susie text at school instead of doing her ABC's. Which creates even further problems, the good teachers leave or capitulate, or with time, we begin to hire teachers born out of this generation of everybody is a winner.
The solution? The simple solution is to learn the word NO as a parent. Remember that being a parent isn't about being your child's best friend. Throw away this notion that your household is a democracy and your child has rights/options. YOU make the rules, YOU set the tone, YOU command respect, discipline, and order. You invest in their education as much as you expect their teacher to and you support your child's teacher. 99.9% of teachers have your child's best interest in mind, they have to, because they sure don't do it for the money! Children want to be taught, led, and said NO to. They don't want, nor do they understand enough to be independent. That's why when they are ungoverned, they make bad choices (Think the 1st half of Big Daddy). If this is too much to ask, then wear a condom, take the pill, or give the child up for adoption, even if the child is 17.
The entire nation suffers when you make the decision that parenting is too much responsibility and it's more fun to be their best friends. It's not only selfish on your behalf, but it's a giant foam middle finger to the rest of society. You are choosing to fail at the single most important job that you will ever have and what message does that send to your child and future grandchildren? The problem is, they won't know what failing means, because they are always used to winning...
No comments:
Post a Comment