Separate, but not equal: Pets & Children

Dear Pet Owners,

Please Stop.

Thanks,

Humanity

P.S.  There's a social pandemic that is gripping social media that needs to come to an immediate end. No, not the daily bombardment of game requests or apps to find out which Harry Potter character you are, it's the pet owners that have clearly lost touch with reality. Let me be clear, I love animals, had a cat all the way through college, even though I'm allergic to them. I have often been quoted as saying I could shoot a human (Michael Vic) before I could shoot an animal. However, I draw the line between comparing pets to children. This not only makes you sound like a complete moron, but is also a direct insult to parents around the world.

If you are already balking at this, then tomorrow, place your child in a crate, or tie them up in the back yard, and go to work for 8 hours. You will have one hell of a welcoming committee for you when you arrive home & will probably never see your children again. If that fails, dump a bag of food out on the kitchen floor, fill several bowls of water, and then take off for the weekend. Again, this is a pretty solid way to relieve yourself of your parenting duties.

Being a responsible parent is a 24/7 full time job, that you receive partial relief from when your child turns 18, but you are never truly finished being a parent. The interaction, communication, and financial investment alone is overwhelming for many and it's not like you can just drop a child off in the woods or turn them into a shelter with little questions asked. When they are sick, they need round the clock care and God forbid hospitalization. You probably won't have your pediatrician come and say that little Suzie needs to be taken out back and shot or put down.

If you chose not to have children, the world thanks you. There are too many parents in this world that shouldn't be and if you made that choice, for whatever reason, good for you. Claiming that your new dog or Mr. Peaches the cat is one of your children is insulting to parents of children. They are not children. What happens when your cat or dog dies? Many get another one. What happens when your child dies? Statistically, the family breaks apart, divorce, suicide, therapy, and most parents will tell you, they died inside and are never truly right. They don't just take a few months off and bounce down to the store and pick out a new one... 

Think about what you are implying. You are trying to equate an animal that just took a shit in the front lawn, ate it, puked it back up, and ate it again to a human being. When is the last time a child tried humping your leg and wouldn't stop until he/she finished? Have you ever walked outside to find your offspring stuck together and the only way to get them apart is with the hose? When is the last time a child crawled up on top of the dining room table and took a shit next to the ham? Or hiked his/her leg and pissed all over the Christmas presents under the tree? Can you order children off the menu, like you can pets in other countries? My children have never consumed a tube of pantie hose and then required me to pull the pair out of their ass. Have your children ever ate through the drywall in the garage, got loose, and f**ked every neighbor on the street that was outside, causing a baby boom? They are just not the same.

So let's please find another way to acknowledge/honor Mr. Wiggles & Mr. Prissy Pants that is fitting to their place in the world without offending the millions of parents out there of children that have chosen the ultimate in human sacrifice, being a Mom and Dad.  Otherwise, the next time my family comes over to your house, my kids will sniff your ass, drink from your toilets, shit in your back yard, and if anything ends up broken, we'll just blame it on the dog...

Drink from the "World Cup" at your own risk!

As the World Cup rages on, I can't help but think, shame on us. This is twice in the same year that we have celebrated sport (Sochi/Brazil), while corrupt governments take millions from the people, displace thousands from their homes, commit human & animal rights abuses daily, and allow FIFA and the IOC to dictate their laws to host countries while maximizing profits. All the while selling the public on a web of lies promoting sportsmanship, fairness, and the benefit of sport.

Why don't we care? Why aren't we outraged that Brazil spent over $270 million on a soccer stadium that will be used 4 times and then set empty til the end of time because it's located in the middle of a jungle? Why aren't we concerned that people are going missing, presumed dead, so that the streets look clean for the tourists? Why is FIFA a tax exempt organization, yet they have a billion dollars in reserves, and take all of the profits from the World Cup, leaving the host nation in financial disarray? Why do we continue to gather every four years at the expense of our fellow man?

This will only get worse when the World Cup is over and Brazil has to go in to overdrive to catch up on it's construction for the 2016 Olympics. An Olympics that will enable further government corruption, human rights violations, and sadly, the deaths of many fellow human beings. However, you will rarely see this on the news or in your local McDonald's, as they profit from our never ending hunger for sports and competition. They will market it as sexy, fun, family based entertainment, celebrating the best that humanity has to offer, while sweeping the sins of the organizers under the freshly laid red carpet.

So what is the solution? On a small scale, stop supporting the businesses that sponsor these events and bombard them with emails, tweets, and any other form of media, telling them enough is enough. On a larger scale, demand the World Cup & The Olympics  pick 4-6 sites, globally, that can financially support the events, and enter in to a rotation, so that each venue is used more than once, and when it's not being used, can be used for training by surrounding countries. Finally, demand that these organizations be transparent with their financial statements, and if they truly are non profit, use any additional revenue to support the surrounding areas where the games are held. That way they can truly market themselves as a benefit to all of mankind.

Or we can do what we typically do when there is bad news in the world. Express short term outrage, pledge change, then go back to our beer & hot wings and chant USA! USA! USA!

A child's best friend isn't YOU (Mom & Dad)!

Best Buddy and Best friend are terms I hear/read on a daily basis, whether it's in public or on social platforms. It's not being used between life long friends, instead, it's being used by parents when describing their relationship between them and their children. It needs to stop! Why? Since we don't make anything anymore in the United States, our future is uncertain, cloudy at best. However, instead of investing in education, we are investing in personal relationships with our children, instead of parenting our children. Our future generations won't find the next cure or advance science and math, instead they will be competing in poll dancing and video games at future Olympics.

When did this begin? I asked my school secretary who was retiring after 30 years on the job, and she said if began around 2000. There was this titanic shift between parents parenting and parents wanting to be their child's best friend. As this latest carnation of political correctness swung too far to one direction, kids starting acting up in school, telling their teachers NO, and their parents, instead of knocking the shit out of their children, told the teachers they were siding with their children.  As a whole, we stopped flunking kids, holding them accountable, and even worse, started treating them all like winners...

Winning should be reserved for the team or individual who performs better than their competitor. Now, everyone wins. If you show up you get a participation medal, if you win, you get a medal, and if you lose, you get a medal. Before you know it, you can't tell who's won and who's lost, but one thing is for sure, nobody's feelings were hurt. What message does this send? How does this prepare them for life, the job market, and future relationships? It doesn't. Instead, it further supports this notion that they are so special, so precious, that how dare anyone tell them NO or not give them a sticker as soon as they enter the room.

If we continue this pace and lifestyle choice when it comes to relationships with our children then we are in serious trouble as a nation....unless you feel that exporting strippers and video game players is the future of our economy and will trump other nations when it comes to technology, energy, and education. On a daily basis, I hear the words no (or worse) from a child, or I don't want to, or you can't make me, or I'll tell my mom...and they do. When I was in school, if I spoke back to the teacher, I'd be lucky to keep my teeth, now the teacher has to prepare a monumental defense, a.k.a. a Dream Team, to justify why she wouldn't let little Susie text at school instead of doing her ABC's. Which creates even further problems, the good teachers leave or capitulate, or with time, we begin to hire teachers born out of this generation of everybody is a winner.

The solution? The simple solution is to learn the word NO as a parent. Remember that being a parent isn't about being your child's best friend. Throw away this notion that your household is a democracy and your child has rights/options. YOU make the rules, YOU set the tone, YOU command respect, discipline, and order. You invest in their education as much as you expect their teacher to and you support your child's teacher. 99.9% of teachers have your child's best interest in mind, they have to, because they sure don't do it for the money! Children want to be taught, led, and said NO to. They don't want, nor do they understand enough to be independent.  That's why when they are ungoverned, they make bad choices (Think the 1st half of Big Daddy). If this is too much to ask, then wear a condom, take the pill, or give the child up for adoption, even if the child is 17.

The entire nation suffers when you make the decision that parenting is too much responsibility and it's more fun to be their best friends. It's not only selfish on your behalf, but it's a giant foam middle finger to the rest of society. You are choosing to fail at the single most important job that you will ever have and what message does that send to your child and future grandchildren?  The problem is, they won't know what failing means, because they are always used to winning...

Everyday is Fathers Day!

In between Memorial Day and Independence Day, Hallmark manages to squeeze in one more fictional holiday before they take their summer break, Father's Day... A clear afterthought to Mother's Day both in marketing and quality/quantity of gifts, it's a day where dad's around the world live in fear of what their wife and children think they like/want. Department stores line the isles with all the gifts that didn't sell at Christmas and place a giant "DAD" sign next to them.

Well, not this Dad. I don't need a miniature ping pong table, tie rack, indoor putting green, beer making kit, or ash tray. Ladies, men are real simple, and for the most part, if we want or need something, we buy it. So the odds are heavily stacked against you that you are going to find the "it" gift, especially after dragging the children around the mall. The only thing that can come of this is hurt feelings and a need for a garage sale.  Also, I've said this before, if men bought the type of mother's day gifts that women buy for men, there would be rioting in the streets.

To me, everyday is Father's Day, because I chose to be a father. My children growing up, being respectable/honest citizens, doing well in school, participating in sports/band, and telling me they love me before they go to bed is all the gift I need. Knowing that they will grow up and have opportunities, adventures, and an even more productive life than I did, trumps any clip on tie or over sized candy bar. Each day presents new challenges and rewards that make all the sleepless nights and worrying worth it.  It's beyond anything that can be wrapped in a box...However...

If I have to participate in this farce, for the sake of the children, then I would like to eat somewhere that doesn't offer nuggets. If I'm going to cave in, then a life size Han Solo in Carbonite statue would be an acceptable gift.  If I have to go all out, smile, and act as if I am the luckiest dad in the world, well, then, wake me up to the sound of Rihanna singing in my shower, issue me a "Hall Pass," and if I don't die (or have anything last longer than 4 hours), I'll put on that Old Spice and take the whole gang out to Chuck E. Cheese!

Crazy vs. Crazy: More Guns Please!

If you are a gun owner that obeys the law and takes pride in the responsibility of owning a gun, this post isn't for you. If your name is Cleetus and you are currently stock piling ammunition in your trailer in preparation for the war against the government or zombies, this post isn't for you. If you are a parent or citizen who is sick of reading about senseless gun violence and feels like something should be done, then you need to continue reading this post.

Our founding fathers were comprised of  slave owners, atheist, bisexuals, and men who would not be elected to public office in today's world based on their ideology and values. They crafted a country the best they could for the times they lived in and stated time and time again that changing this country was not a bad thing, but a positive and necessary step in continuing the success of this Democratic Republic.  They would be horrified today as to what we have evolved into, a Nation that is bought and paid for on the corporate level by Oil, Coal, and Guns. None of these industries care about you, your family, your health, or the future. They only have one concern, PROFIT for their investors.

Since we can't have a discussion on guns, thanks to the NRA and their fear tactics, there is no point in stating facts, statistics, or examples of how other countries manage their guns. We are as addicted to guns as heroin addicts and there is no cure in sight. When laws are needed to be written or amended, it's the NRA that crafts them for the politicians, so they can be full of loopholes or watered down. A group of around 5 million people controls all discussion on instruments of death that affects over 300 million.

If the argument is it's "our right", then why can't we own any type of weapon we want? If it's for home protection, how many rounds do you need in one clip? Has anyone ever survived being shot 30,50, 100 times?  If it's to defend yourself against the Government, well, then you are f**king stupid, the government can take you out from a computer screen in Colorado. Are you part of a militia? I doubt it. Do you like just blowing the shit out of things? Fine, could you at least be required to register your gun and keep it locked up? Or my favorite, if you take away all the guns, they will use hammers... OK, I could live with that. A school would have a much better chance dealing with a hammer attack, then an extended clip with multiple shots per second being fired... 90% of Americans want extended background checks. You can't get 9/10 people to agree on almost anything, yet their voice was silenced (by lobbyist)...

So what's the solution? A logical one would be to vote out the politicians that aren't willing to work on a multifaceted approach to gun violence in America, including mental health, background checks, and penalties for people who allow others to use their guns against others, to name a few. Sadly, the ones screaming mental health reform are the same ones who typically vote to cut that type of funding. It's just a good campaign jingle. Solving this problem is a lose-lose because their backers lose money and they have nothing to campaign on. The business of selling fear is a profitable one and good for job security.

For now, that leaves us with fighting crazy with crazy. The people who seek reforms and want to see an end to the senseless slaughters that plague this Nation need to act. How? 1. Buy all the guns and ammo. Keep the shelves at zero inventory until the fanatics are willing to talk, and talk in a respectable, meaningful way that provides common sense solutions while respecting the rights of lawful gun owners. Take away their addiction, starve the beast, and they will be willing to talk, and talk fast. 2. Sexual boycott on a Nationwide scale. Take away all bedroom privileges and there will be a deal within a week. Possibly the only thing that these fanatics & uninformed people crave more than their guns is sex. Take away the boobies, close the strip clubs, and shut down the nudie websites for a week, and by god, there will be a deal. Finally, vote against your party or politician that isn't willing to discuss this. Eric Cantor just got ousted, which leads me to believe that anyone can. Even if that means voting against your principles, just for the sake of this issue, do it. The numbers won't lie...

In conclusion, logic and reason have been trumped by money and fear. Even if we removed all the guns, there would still be violence, but that's not the point. The point is, it's too easy to pick up a gun, steal a gun, obtain one without any record, purchase ammunition, and shoot somebody because they took your parking spot. The third victim in Las Vegas had a conceal & carry permit, so more guns didn't work out well for him. Columbine had two cops on duty...If we are really going to keep ignoring this issue (mental health included) then we should honor our founding fathers and issue every man, woman, and child a musket and require them to carry it at all times. At least then, the odds of walking in to (fill in the blank) and killing multiple people would significantly decrease...

Parents, Say No to Fear!

One of the benefits of growing up in the 70's was we only had 3 channels and the news was on at 5:30. If memory serves me correctly, the networks went off the air shortly after Carson by way of the National Anthem. I walked to school, through the woods, rode in a car without a seat belt (sometimes laying in the back window), played outside from dusk to dawn (returning home when I heard the sound of my mothers voice), and drank from the water hose on a regular basis. I'm pretty sure most of the kids in my neighborhood experienced the same way of life.

Then shortly after 9/11, we had our first child and it seemed like every aspect of life had been plunged in to fear. If I didn't immediately buy a Hummer, my family would die. I plugged every electrical outlet, bought a Nascar inspired car seat, helmets for damn near every activity known to man, and was told if I let my child out of my sight for 5 minutes, she'd be on a milk carton the following morning. I was receiving weekly emails about the dangers of food, the Internet, soda, plastic, collapsing cribs, baby food, vitamins, immunizations, flame retardant clothing, lawn darts, television, video games, shark attacks, killer bees, and Chris Hanson was on every channel showing me that every neighborhood in America had a rapist living near by...

Because I was a new parent, I was eating this stuff up, losing sleep, and turning my house in to a foam padded fortress of solitude. Then something happened, my first child lived and became a big sister. A few years later, she became a big sister to her new brother, and it dawned on me, I had been fed a lot of bullshit! I'm not dismissing all of the information provided, but a dropped Cheerio, by kid number two, wasn't responded to in the same manner as if she had dropped a live grenade in the dining room... Our front yard wasn't a valet service for child rapists and living in Missouri, I had no reason to fear sharks!

We began enjoying our children more, realizing that dirt was good for their white blood cells, and came to the realization that we could have bought Disney World with the money we spent subscribing to the fear. However, the fear police didn't let up and two new warnings have been issued. 1. putting your kids name on the back of their t-ball jersey aided child molesters in their efforts to rape your child... 2. Family decals on the back of your minivan alert criminals as to how many people live in your home...

Really? You mean to tell me, that if he/she doesn't know the child's name, they aren't interested? My response, put your kids phone number and address on the back of the jersey. Then when the piece of shit rings the doorbell, answer it with a double barrel to the mid section. As to the window stickers, again, if they think we have Chewbacca and R2-D2 living with us, then I hope they are smart enough to stay away, because that also may imply I have a light saber too...

Being a parent is an awesome responsibility, sometimes overwhelming, but the rewards are immeasurable. Subscribing to every fear issued by the 24/7 news cycle that is driven by advertising revenue (instead of reporting factual news), and watching countless hours of cable television devoted to parental horror stories is no way to live. Yes bad things can happen (and it's horrible when they do), but if you are an active participant in your child's upbringing and apply a pinch of common sense, then you can spend more time enjoying your children  and less time fearing things you have little control over, like shark attacks in Missouri...

ACHTUNG! Not again...

Look familiar? It should. If it doesn't, then maybe it's time to stop googling images of Rhianna's dress from this past week. Google this image, and then pick up a history book... I've been hearing a lot of talk lately about how the "Far Right" is gaining power in Europe, however, I think there may be a difference between the far right in Europe and the far right in America. So next time you see a news channel reporting on the far right coming back or a buddy tells you that Europe's on the "right" track, think again.

The Depression of the 1930's was a global one and many took advantage of this in Europe for political/military gain, which was one of the major factors that eventually plunged the world into war. Tens of millions of people died to end this type of hate and create a world in which humans would ensure that this would never happen again....

Many countries, including our own, have been in an economic recession for several years and economists stop just short of using the word Depression. Economic hardships lead to fear and there is nothing more dangerous than those that would prey upon it. As human beings, we owe it to the men and women of the past that made the ultimate sacrifice for this planet not to go down this road again. If we do, this time, I don't see the FDRs and Churchills coming to save us, they don't seem to exist anymore...

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it" -George Santayana


P.S. It's the 70th Anniversary of D-Day...